A Mutual Misunderstanding
by Bchets
Summary: One year of studying for entrance exams and fulfilling requests goes by, but the Service Club remains the same. With their time in high school rapidly approaching its end and inevitable change coming to that unchanging room, what will happen to the three of them?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story ignores Haruno inserting herself into Yukino's life and the Valentine's Date (and onwards in LN). I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 **Even if Spring is Coming for that Unchanging Room…**

The last time I was in this room, it was much colder.

Over the past couple of months, with university entrance exams looming over us, the Service Club had taken a hiatus. As such, we passed through the cold winter without seeing each other often.

But even now…

I looked over at Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, who were sitting next to each other and looking at things on Yuigahama's phone.

"Hehe, this one's cute!"

"I agree."

Yukinoshita had become more accustomed to Yuigahama's antics in the past year. As such, at least in this clubroom, the two of them seemed attached at the hip.

"Oh, look at this one, Yukinon." Yukinoshita took the phone from Yuigahama and brought it closer to her face. She doesn't really get too serious unless it's certain things. Maybe it was Pan-san. Or cats. Or both.

As if she could feel me watching her, she looked up. Without saying anything, as if to explain herself, she held the phone towards me. I walked over and looked at it.

It was…

A GIF of a cat playing with a Pan-san doll.

Wait, when did I get mind reading powers? Am I a witch? Or maybe I copied the power… Yeah, right. I've never kissed anyone **[1]**. That sounds like a pretty sad thing to be proud of…

"You really like Pan-san and cats…"

"W-well… Cats are very wonderful animals that deserve to be admired. They're graceful and quick and clever and cute. And Pan-san is Pan-san." She spat out her words like a rapidfire submachine gun. To be fair, I did agree with the first part, but what was that lackluster explanation for why she liked Pan-san?

"I never said this before, but you have pretty normal interests, considering how far from normal you are."

"I suppose that's true if you're comparing me to yourself and your interests," she said while pointing at my book.

"Literature isn't a normal thing to enjoy? That's a surprise."

"I wouldn't call drivel like that literature." I looked at the light novel I was reading. Well, she wasn't wrong about this one. "Though I suppose garbage would appeal to other garbage."

"Oi, only Komachi is allowed to call me garbage." I puffed my chest as I spoke.

"Ew, gross. Super gross, Hikki." Yuigahama stared at me with an exasperated expression.

"There he goes again." Yukinoshita pressed her hand to her forehead.

I scowled at the two of them. Then the three of us smiled at each other.

I looked back at my book. The two of them went back to looking at Yuigahama's phone.

I suppose nothing had changed over those months.

We didn't expect to get many requests, as our time at high school was ending. And Isshiki was busy with end-of-the-year student council business, so it was just the three of us in the room.

The same daily interactions, the same seats, even the same tea.

"Ah, I wish these days could go on forever." Yuigahama spoke in a quiet voice, directing her sentence at no one in particular. Yukinoshita and I remained silent at her words.

For some reason, even though they were said in a different context, Yukinoshita's words from over a year ago came to mind.

She said refusing to change was the same as running away.

I reached for the Pan-san teacup that Yukinoshita had filled earlier and brought it to my lips. Because it was untouched by me, sitting in the same place, the tea inside was no longer hot. I gulped it down and didn't ask for more.

Yukinoshita closed the Service Club when the last bell rang.

"Your younger sister isn't with you?" Yukinoshita asked.

"Komachi's hanging out with friends. Oh, I decided to bike today, so go on without me."

"I see."

"Bye, Hikki!" Yuigahama waved her arm wildly.

"See you tomorrow." Meanwhile, Yukinoshita made slow back and forth movements with her arm.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow."

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama started heading to the station, while I went to the bike racks.

Something was gnawing at my conscience, but I was unsure about what it was.

I got on my bike and started to head home. Along the way, a light turned red, and I sat there waiting for the light to change. When it did, I pushed my feet against the pedals, and the wheels under me began to spin.

Even though the whole bike moves forward, the wheels stay spinning around the same axes. But that was their job. To continue to rotate as the scenery around them changed.

So it was fine, wasn't it?

I continued to pedal towards home, but that question remained unanswered.

* * *

The next day, Komachi and I rode the train to school. Since Komachi started going to Sobu High, we would go together occasionally, though she would always leave me to spend time with friends at the station and on the train.

I could spend my train rides in peace, maybe even read if there were empty seats. However, there weren't any today, so I stood and held onto a handle. Thoughts began festering.

Soon, I wouldn't be seeing this scenery. We were graduating soon, and the university I would attend was in a different direction. I wouldn't ride the train with Komachi, or be greeted in the morning by Totsuka, or read books in that unchanging room.

I wiped my mind clear of those thoughts.

Except for being greeted by Totsuka.

I was rewarded when I walked into class. He truly was an angel.

Since a lot of the people I knew from class 2F had picked literary arts as their focus for their last year, the class was filled with familiar faces. Hayama's group still had a corner to themselves. A lot of noise came from there early in the morning.

"Job hunting's been the worst!" Tobe put his head on his desk after yelling.

"Hang in there, Tobecchi." He lifted his head up and looked over at Ebina.

"I'm gonna give my all today, too!" Ebina wryly smiled.

Yep, hang in there Tobe. Though your feelings may never be returned, and you could end up confessing and being rejected and becoming a loner like… a friend of mine.

"U-um, Hayato?"

"What is it, Yumiko?"

"... N-never mind." I heard that exchange, then looked over at Miura, who was fiddling with her curls. Hayama wore a confused expression on his face.

Hiratsuka-sensei interrupted by starting homeroom.

By the time school ended, I hadn't learned what Miura was going to ask. Well, it wasn't my business anyway.

Yuigahama and I walked together to the Service Club. Yukinoshita poured us tea. I opened my book. Same as always.

At least, until we heard knocks on our door.

"Come in."

"Hey, everybody," Hiratsuka-sensei said as she walked in. "I just wanted to remind you of your competition."

I had almost forgotten about it. The winner can command the losers to do anything they wanted… My mind didn't drift to anything lewd, I swear.

No, maybe it would have back when I didn't know them, but now I really had no clue of what orders I would issue if I won.

"What of it?" Yukinoshita asked.

"Well, what do you want to do, Yukinoshita? Since you're leaving soon." I looked over at Yukinoshita. Yuigahama also stared.

"I'll still be a part of the contest."

"Wa-wait a second, Yukinon. What does Sensei mean?" Yukinoshita turned away and gripped one arm with her other.

"Ah, you didn't tell them?" Hiratsuka-sensei looked at me with an expression I didn't understand. "I'll let you explain it, then." She left the room, looking back before she closed the door.

"I'm going to be studying at an American university. In a few days, I'm leaving to take some classes for the spring quarter," Yukinoshita stated.

"What? Why?" Yuigahama leaned towards Yukinoshita. "Did your mom-"

"It was my decision. Mother was against it, but my father accepted it. He's going to pay for my tuition."

"B-but…" Yuigahama looked towards me. I put my book down.

"What's so special about studying abroad in the first place?" Yukinoshita glared at me. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "Japan has a ton of great schools; some rank among the top universities in the world. Tokyo University is the obvious one. Kyoto, Osaka, and Hokkaido also have high ranking schools. There's also Waseda University nearby."

"Firstly, Japan's schools still rank lower than top universities in other parts of the world. Secondly, I have more opportunities for my career if I branch out of Japan. And finally…" She trailed off and crossed her arms while looking at me. "It's my choice."

I couldn't argue with the first two points. She was right on both accounts, and I knew she'd shut me down before I'd even started my argument. It was much more beneficial for her to study abroad, that much I knew. But our debate from the past played again in my head.

"So you're running away after all?" I asked. She didn't say anything more and looked away.

"Stop, you two, please." Yuigahama wiped her eyes repeatedly before grabbing Yukinoshita's blazer. "Why, Yukinon?"

"I already explained that-"

"No, why didn't you tell us earlier?" Yukinoshita looked down and away. "What was the plan? To just leave without saying anything?"

"That…" She continued to speak in a quiet voice. "We never saw each other. And you two seemed…"

As if she realized something, Yukinoshita's eyes widened, and she looked at both of us before looking down and crossing her arms.

"You're always like this, Yukinon. You never tell us what's going on." She said this in between sobs. "We won't know unless you tell us. You can tell us. We're your friends."

"She and I were never friends." I spat out those words tinged with malice, unable to hold it back. The two of them looked over as I clenched my fists.

Yukinoshita Yukino never lies. That was still the truth.

I saw it now. We'd been deceiving each other that whole time.

Maybe it was our fault. Maybe this year of stagnation was to blame for changing Yukinoshita's mind about this deception. Almost two years of maintaining the Service Club, without even solving our own problems, instead ignoring them… Wasn't this a superficial relationship at this point? This couldn't be called "genuine," could it? What was the point of those words, then?

Even after all this time, we didn't understand. No, it was precisely because we spent all this time doing nothing that we didn't understand. Were we to blame, then?

Yuigahama could have pried more. I could ask her questions; I knew that much. And yet, we didn't. Those complacent days spent before exams would come to haunt us. But still...

Who was running away?

With that question stuck in my mind, and having found an answer for it, I stood up out of my chair.

"I'm going to chat with Hiratsuka-sensei."

"Hikki…" I put my book in my bag and picked it up without looking over. Instead I looked at my teacup, which was still half full. I thought about leaving it there. In the end, I grabbed it and drank the tea on the way out.

Halfway out the door, I heard a quiet voice.

"What about your request?" I didn't know the answer to that question. I walked outside and didn't turn back.

I've felt that I hated myself multiple times in the past two years.

For setting expectations on Yukino Yukinoshita. For getting disappointed when she didn't live up to those ideals. For trying to uphold superficial relationships. For forgetting the one thing we both agreed on.

Now, for doing nothing for all this time, I hated myself.

* * *

I walked into the teacher's office and found Hiratsuka-sensei.

"Hikigaya…"

"Can we talk?" She nodded, and the two of us walked to an empty classroom. I placed my belongings, along with the teacup, on a desk. The two of us stood by the blackboard.

"So?"

"How long have you known?"

"Yukinoshita reported her decision last week." She reached to her pocket and started to pull out her cigarettes, but put them back. "Seeing you guys acting normal, I figured she didn't say anything."

"I see."

"So, what will you do?" She glanced at my bag then crossed her arms. "You're not thinking of quitting, are you?"

I looked over as well. The Pan-san teacup drew my attention.

What did I want?

Last year I said something vague when thinking of that question.

 _I want something genuine._

I wanted to understand. I wanted a relationship where we could force that desire to understand upon each other. If that was the case, then why didn't I do anything?

I had thought understanding would come. That what we were doing was natural. I thought, in staying that way, we would eventually find that genuine thing. I should have known that was deception. Something genuine wasn't something that landed in your lap. You had to struggle for it.

But was it too late now?

Was it impossible to come to an understanding with Yukinoshita leaving so soon?

Even if it was, in my head I criticized Yukinoshita for running away. Running away now would be hypocrisy.

Therefore…

"No, I'm not going to quit." After I said that, Hiratsuka-sensei's lips curved upward, and she patted me on the back.

"Good answer, Hikigaya."

"But… What am I supposed to do?"

"That's for you to think about," she said. Hiratsuka-sensei walked towards the window and gazed outside. The orange light that signified the ending of the day wrapped around her.

She looked pretty cool.

"Well, I can give you a hint," she said without turning towards me. "I think I said this before, but there are some things you can only do now, even in these last few days before Yukinoshita leaves. Think about that, okay?"

Somewhat entranced by the figure that seemed to long for something that was lost, I shook my head back and forth and refocused my attention.

I half-thought of a retort to say but held it back. Now wasn't the time for such things.

Things that I could do, what were they? That answer evaded me as Hiratsuka-sensei and I said goodbye. It didn't come in the time I spent walking to the station, riding the train, and thinking at home. And I doubted it would come easily in a dream.

But that didn't matter. The things that I could do were surely there. Even if I couldn't find the answer immediately, I'd keep looking.

For my mind was already set before the sun fell beneath the horizon.

* * *

Footnotes:

 **[1]** : Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches

* * *

 **A/N: Hello everyone, I am back to Oregairu!**

 ***smattering of applause***

 **I'm the only one clapping, though…**

 **Anyway, I hope you found the first chapter to this fic interesting enough to want to read the rest. I have the whole thing planned out (unlike certain other old fics), so I will hopefully (please) finish this.**

 **Those old fics on the other hand...**

 **I ignored those things mentioned at the top because Haruno is too strong of a catalyst for characters. Overpowered Nee-san.**

 **Big thanks to Kat, Zingy, and Ralph for beta reading and catching silly mistakes of mine. Needed some help after being away for so long.**

 **As always, reviews would be greatly appreciated. I'll even respond to some in the next afterword~**

 **Anyway that's all for this haphazard outro. I'll see you in the next chapter~**

 **Or on the Discord (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**His and Her Convictions**

"Good morning, Hachiman."

"Good morning, Totsuka."

This interaction might be the thing I miss the most about high school. Totsuka's daily greeting could soothe my mind even after a night of wracking my brain for solutions to Hiratsuka-sensei's hint.

Maybe it was my expression or the way I said my words, but he leaned towards me.

"You seem kinda motivated today. Did something happen?" he asked.

"Mm, something like that," I said.

"Okay. I'm here if you need me!"

Totsuka Saika was more reliable than ever. No, maybe he'd always been this reliable. Maybe it was my image of him that was messed up from the start.

My eyes really are bad.

I told him once that I'd rely on him. I did for the marathon, and I'd do so now.

"Hey, Totsuka, are you still friends with anyone from your middle school?"

"I have a few friends, but we aren't as close anymore. A lot of them went to different schools," he said.

"Makes sense." Physical distance between two people naturally created emotional distance as well. Not that I would know personally, but it seemed like both people need to make an effort if they want to preserve that friendship.

"If you wanted to stay close to them, what would you have done?" I asked.

"Probably keep in contact with them. Hang out during breaks. You know, like most friends do."

No, I really wouldn't know. Something like that sounded impossible to me. Plus, if one person tried to organize everything, but the other person didn't want to hang out, that one-sided friendship would surely fade away. And someone would be left alone.

"Hachiman," he said before trailing off and turning away. Then he glanced at me with his large eyes and spoke quietly. "We'll still be friends, right?"

"O-of course." I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

How could I reject that offer when you're looking at me with that cute expression? Does anyone have that kind of willpower?

"Good," he said with a wide smile on his face.

So this is friendship, huh? Feels a lot like complete bliss to me.

"Is there anything else you can think of?" I asked.

"Hmm… a confession, maybe?"

My mind flashed back to my confession to Orimoto. One misunderstanding can easily destroy relationships. I knew that much.

The relationship we had, the feelings lingering inside… I couldn't name them. I wouldn't name them. Coming this far, I couldn't afford to deceive anyone, especially not myself.

"Hachiman?" I snapped out of my daze at the sound of Totsuka's voice. He looked at me with a furrowed brow and gleaming eyes.

I couldn't worry him about this. Advice was fine, but ultimately this was my problem to deal with.

"Thank you."

"Anytime," he said before flashing a bright smile that lifted my mood to the heavens.

Then the sound of Hiratsuka-sensei entering the room brought me back down. But that was fine. I couldn't afford to be up there too long. My answer was down here, and I needed to keep looking.

* * *

"So you came," Yukinoshita said under her breath, barely audible. I nodded and sat down at my seat. Yuigahama sat down at hers. The familiar teacups weren't on the table. Disrupting the lingering silence after her words, Yukinoshita cleared her throat.

In hindsight, the next words she uttered shouldn't have been a surprise.

"We should disband the Service Club," she said.

"W-why?" Yuigahama asked.

"Since I am leaving in a couple of days, and we don't seem to be getting requests, I think it's reasonable to close for the remainder of the year," she stated. "Besides… if you're going to force yourself to come…"

"I'm not really…" Yuigahama trailed off. Yukinoshita's eyes were fixated on me.

"So if we get a request, then we won't disband until it's resolved?" I asked. Yukinoshita raised her hand to her chin.

"Well, if that's the case, then yes."

"What's the time limit?"

"How about by the end of today?"

I didn't have the answer yet. Just thinking about might not be enough to solve my problems by today. I needed as much time as possible. Therefore…

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the contacts. Then I typed out a quick message and sent it.

"Do you know anyone who needs help?"

I looked at Yuigahama, who was fiddling with her phone. She raised her eyebrows as she opened her eyes wider, then began typing on her smartphone. She sighed when she finished, then watched the door. We waited for a while.

Eventually a knock sounded, albeit lightly, as if the person behind the door was uncertain of their intentions.

"Come in," Yukinoshita said.

Miura opened the door. She sat down across the table and twirled her hair.

"Go on, Yumiko."

"Mm, well, you know… I think I wanna try it." She didn't look up when she spoke again. "Confessing." A light blush colored her cheeks.

"To Hayama-kun?" Yukinoshita asked. "I wouldn't recommend it. He'd most likely reject you."

"How would you…" Miura stopped talking when she saw Yukinoshita's deadpan expression. "E-even if that's true… I still…"

"You want to remain close, right Yumiko?" Yuigahama asked.

"Yeah. And since everyone is moving in different directions, I thought this might be the only way to do that." Miura's fingers stopped fiddling with her hair, and her lips curved downwards. "Like, I don't even know where he applied."

Yukinoshita seemed oddly quiet at that sentence. She gripped one arm with the other and turned slightly away from Miura.

"So, Yukinon, can we help her?"

"Should we? The last time we helped with a confession…"

The three of them glanced over at me, and I cleared my throat.

"Well… I won't do anything like that this time," I said. Looking back at Miura, who was back to twirling her hair, I sighed. "Hey, Miura."

"What, Hikio?"

"If you confess to him, he could show you a different side to him that you didn't know before. It might hurt knowing that about him." She didn't seem to react to my words. "Even so, do you still want to confess?"

"I… I don't know. Anyway, what do you mean?" She looked at me with questioning eyes. "Hayato is Hayato."

No, Hayama was always hiding behind a mask. Miura didn't sense this. She was infatuated with the Hayama she saw in her head. To help Miura was to lead her further down her delusion.

But she had her own convictions.

With the eventual change to their relationship rapidly approaching, she wanted it to remain the same. I'm sure she understood that their relationship would change no matter what. That the things she held dear to her now wouldn't matter in the future. Even so, she wanted to hold onto them. And this was her answer.

A confession, huh?

"I understand. We'll help," I told her before looking over at Yukinoshita.

"Are you sure about this, Hikigaya-kun?" she asked.

"It's fine isn't it? This will be our last request." Yukinoshita sighed and shook her head.

"If you say so…"

"I'll do my best, Yumiko!" Yuigahama shouted.

"Huh? Mm… yeah, thanks," Miura said in return.

"For now, how are you thinking of confessing?" I asked. Since this was a request I set up to stall for time, I needed to take point on this one.

"I don't know. I've never done this sort of thing before…" Miura looked at Yuigahama and Yukinoshita after she said that.

"Neither have I."

"Same here…" Yukinoshita and Yuigahama looked at me after they spoke.

"Hikio?" Miura asked.

"... I have. But it didn't turn out well for me." I kept my answer vague, but Miura still seemed discouraged as she stared at the table in front of her.

Maybe she was reminded of the possibility of rejection. Honestly, I thought she shouldn't confess to Hayama. There was something fundamentally wrong with my relationship with Orimoto. And that problem probably existed between Miura and Hayama, albeit to a lesser extent. But I needed this request. I was still searching for my answer.

In my head, I apologized to Miura before continuing.

"But, it was different between me and her. We weren't friends at all. I didn't know anything about her. So…" After trailing off, I gulped down the saliva building up. "I'd say you have a shot."

"Yeah, it makes sense that you'd have a better chance if you're close. And Yumiko is the closest to Hayama out of the entire school," Yuigahama chimed in. We looked to Yukinoshita, who cleared her throat.

"From a logical standpoint, if this confession works out then you two will remain close no matter where Hayama goes," Yukinoshita stated.

She said those words to encourage Miura, but I couldn't help but think that there was something behind those words. I decided to focus on the task at hand and not delude myself any further, but those words stuck to the back of my mind.

"Thanks, everyone," Miura said before flashing a wide smile. I was reminded that the Fire Queen had a cute side to her as well.

"Hey, is Hayama still around?" I asked Miura.

"Hayato should be helping out with the soccer team."

"Could you ask him out on a date? You'll want to be as close as possible in order to improve your chances. We'll leave the actual confession for tomorrow." This would give me time as well.

"Sounds like a plan," she said before standing up. With what seemed like an aura of determination, she strode out of the room, leaving the three of us behind in the dust.

"In the meantime," I said as I looked at the two of them, "Yuigahama and I will get some drinks. We can discuss this more afterwards."

"E-eh? Me? What about Yukinon?"

"We need someone to stay in case people come by."

"That's fine with me," Yukinoshita said. "You seem eager."

"It's our last request. I want to do it properly," I answered. That was part of the truth, anyway.

I felt as if I was on the cusp of finding a solution to this situation between us. It was at my fingertips, and I needed to reach for it to grab hold of it.

"We'll be back," Yuigahama said as I opened the door.

"See you soon," Yukinoshita said.

The two of us stepped outside the room, leaving Yukinoshita alone inside of it.

* * *

"So… why'd you want to get drinks with me, Hikki?" Yuigahama asked.

"I need your help with something." Dealing with people wasn't my forte, and the same goes for Yukinoshita. "Sorry to trouble you."

"N-no problem! Thanks for relying on me," she said with a wide smile.

"So what do you think about this situation?" I asked as we walked through the hallways of Sobu High.

"Yumiko has a chance, I think. I mean the two of them are pretty close."

"But do you think Hayama feels that way about her?"

"I don't know for sure… But she has a chance." Yuigahama spoke clearly and clenched her fists as she continued looking forward. "What about you, Hikki?"

"Well, I have pretty little experience…" But compared to that experience, Miura had a way higher chance than I ever did. Even if it was slim, it wasn't zero. "I think there's a chance as well."

"Yumiko sure is brave," Yuigahama whispered.

The words that sounded like a quiet affirmation lingered in the air, remaining unanswered and unaddressed. The atmosphere throughout the hallway seemed to become more awkward as we continued.

We grabbed drinks at a vending machine. I got a black coffee. It wasn't the time for sweet stuff; I needed to focus. I grabbed a green tea for Yukinoshita. Yuigahama bought some juice.

After that we didn't head back to the Service Club. Instead, we walked to the soccer field, where the team was wrapping up their practice.

"Let's talk to Tobe about what's going on," I said to Yuigahama as I saw him walking around. Hayama was nowhere to be seen. Hopefully Miura successfully invited him out.

"Okay. Tobecchi!" Yuigahama waved as she yelled. He jogged over when he saw us.

"Hey, Yui, Hikitani-kun. Ya need me for something?"

"Tobecchi, could you come to the Service Club with us?" Yuigahama asked. "We wanna ask you about something."

He agreed to come along, and we headed back. As we walked, we explained the situation to him and asked him to let us know what he thinks in the clubroom.

When we arrived there, Yukinoshita was still sitting at her chair and reading a book. She looked up when we walked in and greeted us. I handed her the tea then cracked open my can. Tobe sat down across from Yuigahama and Yukinoshita.

"Yumiko and Hayato-kun have always been like that. You know? Close and stuff," he said.

You can just say they're close, you don't have to add all the garbage in between…

"So you think there's a chance, right?" Yuigahama asked.

"There's more than a chance. It's basically guaranteed!" Tobe said while winking.

"Right? I think so too!"

Yukinoshita and I watched the two of them as they continued to affirm the same thing to each other like a tennis rally. Yukinoshita eventually cleared her throat to interrupt them.

"Why do you think so, Tobe-kun?" Tobe leaned on the table to answer.

"Well Hayato-kun has been close with a lot of girls. Like in our group there's Ebina and Yui, but when it comes to closeness, it's always been kinda different between Hayato-kun and Yumiko." He trailed off and put his hand to his chin, stroking it as if he had an invisible beard. "Kinda… kinda like this club."

"R-really?" Yuigahama asked.

"Yeah, you guys seem close, too. Though, I can't really explain it. But it's different, ya know?" He went back to winking incessantly. "Ya know?"

Yuigahama's cheeks seemed slightly red, and she started to twiddle her fingers. Meanwhile, Yukinoshita clutched her arm and didn't respond.

"Close…" Yuigahama spoke under her breath, and I could barely make out what she said. There was a long silence in the room. I cleared my throat to break it.

"In any case, Miura has a shot, right?" I looked at Tobe, who grinned at me.

"Thanks, Tobecchi," Yuigahama said as he stood up out of his seat. He gave a thumbs-up in response.

"Now I just gotta think about Ebina," he muttered as he walked out of the room.

I didn't particularly like Tobe. In fact, I disliked him.

Even so, I silently rooted for him.

"Tomorrow, we can meet up with Miura again before she confesses," I said. "Yuigahama can give her a pep talk."

"I'll do my best!"

"That seems fine," Yukinoshita said. "Is there anything else to discuss?"

"Not that I can think of," I answered.

"Shall we close for today, then?" Yuigahama and I agreed.

The three of us packed up our things and dropped off the key with Hiratsuka-sensei. She gave me a questioning look, but I shook my head. She sighed and didn't say anything. We headed to the station together.

When I arrived home and sat down on the couch, I continued thinking of what I could do. However, I kept arriving at the same answer.

A confession.

It was a ridiculous notion, but that was what came to mind over and over again.

What Totsuka said.

What Tobe said.

What Yukinoshita said.

They all seemed to be pointing to the same answer.

Totsuka and Yukinoshita were definitely right. A confession, if successful, would lead to a deepening of the relationship between you and another person. You would keep in contact and spend time together, even if you were apart for the rest of the year. Since it was a romantic relationship, both people would be actively involved in it, unless they fell out of love.

But if it was a genuine relationship, then surely it would survive outside of high school.

The only problem was what Tobe said.

Were we truly close? I wasn't sure. For starters, we didn't understand each other.

But Tobe's words, even if I shouldn't believe his surface level observation, sort of made sense. We weren't just acquaintances. We seemed closer. Almost two years with Yukinoshita would cause that.

However, there was another problem.

Uncertainty.

I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was love. It was something I decided not to name. If this wasn't love, and I called it that, then I'd be fooling myself.

I wasn't sure about how Yukinoshita felt about me. Again, I didn't want to misunderstand her actions and feelings. I didn't want to fool myself and go down the same path I had with Orimoto. I didn't want to feel that pain again, especially not from Yukinoshita.

There was no way to figure it out in a day. I didn't have time.

But I needed to do something before she left. And this was something I could do to change our relationship, to ensure that we didn't drift apart, in such a short timeframe.

As improbable as it should have been, this was the answer I arrived at.

I needed to confess to Yukinoshita Yukino.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hello all~**

 **Hope you enjoyed the second chapter to this fic! This one went through a ton of rewrites… Big thanks to Zingy and Galm for catching many, many, many things. I couldn't have done it without y'all orz**

 **I'm finished with finals for the quarter, so I'd like to say I'll update faster... But work is getting busier, so I'll probably be writing at the same speed.**

 **Also remember when I said I planned out the story? Yeah, a big part of my plans went out the window because of changes I've made to this chapter. Soooooo, let's hope for the best :3**

 **Onto reviews~**

 **NPwall: I'm hoooome. Glad to hear it, friend :3**

 **BlackPsych: Hehe I really did have to use that image. You have a good point with Hiratsuka-sensei. That's a pretty big oversight on my part... Hope you continue to enjoy this~**

 **Link8: It's nice to hear that from another writer. Warms my heart *sniff***

 **DereignCarlton: Thankies~**

 **That's all of them!**

 **Look forward to the next chapter that'll come out (eventually).**

 **See you soon, loves.**

 **EDIT: Made some edits ._.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Forgot to thank Kat in the notes for my last chap… thanks dear c:**

* * *

 **Maybe Their Confessions Should Never be Heard**

Another black coffee for today, I thought as I pressed the button on the vending machine. The sweetness of MAXX would be nice, but I didn't want to start the day sweet.

No, this could be a day when I might need the sweetness later. Maybe to celebrate. Maybe to offset the bitter feeling of rejection.

It had been a long time since I'd confessed to someone. The memories of Orimoto passed through my mind, images starting to resurface and bringing pain along with them.

I shook them off with a sip of coffee.

It was different back then.

It had to be.

The air around me was cool, despite the coming of spring, and the cold coffee didn't offer any warmth. I started to walk to class.

"Oh? Is that Hikitani-kun?" I turned around.

Ebina Hina was waving at me. She walked up to the vending machine with a couple of coins in her hand. I nodded at her and started to sneak away.

"Hikitani-kun, do you like stuff like that?" Ebina asked as she pointed at my coffee.

"I have more of a sweet tooth, actually."

"Is that so? I'll let Hayato know that so he can treat you."

"No, you really don't need to-"

"Ah, you're right! We shouldn't just give Hayato the answer. He should ask you. It'll be perfect for bonding. And then…" Ebina started breathing heavily. I tried to tiptoe away.

"Is something going on?" she asked. I looked back at her.

She was staring straight into the vending machine, as if there existed an entire world beyond the glass. Her gaze was blank and cold. I took a swig of the coffee.

"Have you heard anything?" I asked.

"Is Yumiko really going to confess?"

"Well, that's the plan, anyway."

"I see." Ebina turned towards me again. "I wonder if it's worth it. Confessing."

"Why not? It's a way for them to stay close."

"What if she's rejected?" I didn't answer that question. "Then she loses a person that she could rely on."

"Won't they drift apart anyway, if they do nothing?"

"Not necessarily." She started walking to class, and I followed. "That depends on them." I didn't say a word about that. She was probably right.

Then, reminded of Tobe's words from yesterday, I asked a question.

"... What about things on your end? With Tobe?"

"My answer hasn't changed from a year ago. Besides, dating isn't something I'm concerned with. Maybe in the far future, but for now…" Ebina stopped walking and put on a smile. "I just want to enjoy this while it lasts."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't.

"And how do you think Hayato feels?" she asked.

Letting those words linger in the air, Ebina led the way once more, but my steps lagged behind hers. She looked back and waved at me before leaving me behind. I raised the coffee to my lips and finished the rest of the bottle.

My situation was different. Yukinoshita was leaving the country. It would be impossible for me to further our relationship over that distance. I couldn't even keep a friend who was in the same neighborhood as me. She would forget about me and move on with her life.

Therefore, I needed to do this.

I had my answer.

Thoughts of Orimoto, past confessions, and the Kyoto Trip swirled around in my head.

But was my answer the right one?

Being unable to solve that question, I went back to the vending machine and purchased another coffee.

* * *

I left class as soon as I could and headed to the clubroom. As expected, Yukinoshita was already there, with an open book in her hands.

"Good afternoon."

"Yo." I sat down across from her and brought out a book as well, but I didn't open it. Instead I cleared my throat. "After this request is over… Can we discuss something?"

"That's fine," she said after deliberating it for a bit. "You usually don't say stuff like that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I couldn't look at her as I spoke. When I finished, I glanced at her in my peripheral vision, and saw her mouth half-open as if she was preparing to say something.

That something never came, as the door to the Service Club opened, and Yuigahama and Miura walked in.

"Yahallo, Yukinon. Hikki."

"Shall we begin?" Yukinoshita asked after clearing her throat. Miura sat down at the table.

She started by talking about their date the day before, which seemed to her like all the other times they hung out. She continued to talk about how she wanted to confess, the popular spots she thought were nice, and her word choice.

Throughout the conversation, I couldn't help but think something felt off about the whole situation. I couldn't shake off Ebina's words from the morning. There was one more person I needed to talk to. I grabbed my bag and stood up.

"I'm going to get drinks. What do you guys want?" After they gave me their drink requests, Yuigahama started to get out of her chair.

"S-should I come, too?"

"No, I should be fine. Sorry to leave you two to handle this for now."

"It's fine. Thanks for the drinks," Yukinoshita said. I nodded and walked out of the room.

It was the same path as yesterday, but it seemed much longer this time. I trudged down to the vending machines, stuffed the drinks into my bag, then went to the soccer club. Hayama was on the field, and he saw me on the sidelines. He called for a break and walked up to me. I tossed him a sports drink, and he caught it.

"Enjoying the show?" he asked.

"Don't say things Ebina will misunderstand."

"Heh, I probably shouldn't." He gulped the drink down. "So, did you have business with me?"

"Yeah, I have a question. How would you respond to someone if they confessed to you today?"

"Now who's saying things Hina will misunderstand?"

"Just answer the question." He looked up to the sky.

"Is this about Yumiko?" Hayama asked.

"Why does that matter?" I asked back.

"Regardless of who it is, I don't have a choice. That's my answer." We stood there in silence for a while, but he continued. "Why are you helping her?"

"She came to us," I stated.

"No, Hikigaya. If that was the case, then Yukinoshita and Yui would also be here. You seeked me out on your own."

"... She wants to stay close with you. And I know how something like that feels. I felt bad for her." I spat those lies out.

"She'll form new friendships in university, maybe even find a boyfriend. I won't be around here, so we wouldn't be able to spend time together, regardless. But, if I ever am in Japan, then we can hang out like nothing has changed. That's how normal friendships work."

That sounded like a superficial relationship to me. Pretending like nothing has changed even though you have grown distant was a cruel deception.

Although those thoughts ran through my head, for some reason, certain parts of his response took priority.

"What do you mean, 'you won't be around?'"

"Yukinoshita didn't tell you?" He asked. "I'm studying in America, too."

"What?"

"Well, we won't be at the same school, but I won't be here. That's why I can't accept Yumiko's confession. Even if I did have feelings for her, and I could choose, I don't think it'd work out."

I watched as he finished the drink in his hands. There was just one question I had left.

"Do you have feelings for her?" He gave me a smile, but it was anything but happy.

"Who knows?" He tossed me back the empty bottle. "Thanks for the drink, Hikitani-kun."

As he walked back to the field, I frowned at the sight of his shoulders that effortlessly carried his own burdens.

* * *

The swirling of thoughts around my head had turned into a full-blown hurricane.

My answer was probably wrong. My answer would lead to rejection. My answer wasn't what I was looking for.

But my answer was all I had. After all the thinking and rethinking. After talking with so many people. I was committed.

The memories became more vivid in my head as I walked back to the clubroom.

When I opened the door, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, sitting in their tacitly assigned seats, greeted me. Miura was nowhere to be seen.

"Where'd Miura go?" I asked as I handed them their drinks. I placed Miura's drink on the table, and no one reached for it.

"She gave up after I told her about Hayama-kun's future plans," Yukinoshita said.

"Yumiko said she was fine with things staying the way they were. She said thanks to you, too, Hikki."

I looked at Yukinoshita.

"So, is that it, then?" I asked.

"That was our deal, wasn't it?" Yukinoshita packed her things into her bag, but left it on the table as she started to walk out. "I'll report this to Hiratsuka-sensei. See you in a bit."

"Take your time, Yukinon!"

Yukinoshita left the two of us in the room that would no longer house the Service Club.

Yuigahama brought her chair over and sat down next to me. We sat in silence until Yuigahama started to speak.

"It's over, huh?"

"It looks like it," I responded.

"It's been really fun." Yuigahama started to wipe her eyes repeatedly. "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything to deserve your thanks," I said. She shook her head.

"You've done plenty." I didn't say anything back, but she seemed to move closer. "Hey, Hikki… I think I wanna try it, too."

"What?"

"Confessing." Time seemed to stop. I scrambled for a response.

"... I wish you the best of luck." She came closer. I didn't look at her.

"I'm in love with you, Hikki."

No. This wasn't right.

"You don't have to answer me right away," she continued, "but that's how I feel."

Surely, this was wrong.

"Why? Why do you think that you love me?" I asked.

"Because of all we've been through. From Sable until now. I've been in love with you the whole time."

So it was her delusion of me. She fell in love with the hero that saved her dog.

I wasn't a hero.

This was a lie.

"What you're feeling isn't love. And if it is, then you're not in love with me. You're in love with the person who saved Sable."

"It's not like that! I mean sure at the beginning… but now… it's not like that."

"If you're worried about repaying me for what I did, then cut it out."

"That's not true, Hikki. I really do… love you," she said.

There was only one way to end this cycle of arguing.

"I don't feel the same," I said while looking at her. "I don't love you. I'm sorry."

She started to cry. She wiped the tears away, over and over, but her sobs resonated loudly in the room. Each sob struck at me like someone was punching my chest.

"A-am I not good enough, Hikki? Is there someone else?"

I didn't open my mouth. I wanted to turn away, but somehow I couldn't divert my gaze. Yuigahama Yui was breaking down in front of me, and all I could do was watch.

"Is it Yukinon?"

That was the one question I didn't want to hear.

I don't know if she sensed something; maybe it was my expression or my silence that gave me away. She grabbed her things and barreled out of the clubroom. I could hear her feet slamming against the floor as she ran away.

Yukinoshita wouldn't be back for a while, but I needed to move eventually. I couldn't. Thoughts and memories assaulted my head. I don't know how long I waited. After what felt like an eternity, I heard a voice.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

"Yukinoshita…"

"Where's Yuigahama?"

"... She left."

"I see."

She sat down in her seat across the table, and we looked at each other without saying anything.

"You said you had something to discuss?"

"I… I…"

Did I look like that when Orimoto rejected me? Would Yuigahama suffer the same fate I did? Would this confession to Yukinoshita be the same?

"I… hope you have fun studying abroad."

"That's it?" she asked. "That's what you wanted to discuss?"

"That's it," I lied. She didn't say anything for a long time. She walked closer and slid her hand along the desk. Then she stopped, right outside where my arm could reach if I extended it towards her.

"... Thanks for the sentiment," she said while looking at me. "We've had many arguments in this room, haven't we, Hikigaya-kun?"

"... Yeah, we have." After heading my response, she slowly walked back to her seat.

"I'm glad we were able to end this on the right foot," she said before gathering her things. "Shall we close the Service Club?"

All I could do was nod. I grabbed my things as well. We walked out the door, and closed it for the final time. She locked the room.

"I'll bring the key to Hiratsuka-sensei. You can go on without me."

"Yeah… goodbye, Yukinoshita," I said.

"Goodbye, Hikigaya-kun," she said.

We waved at each other, then went our separate ways.

* * *

I plopped down on the couch when I arrived home. The living room was quiet. Komachi was probably out today, as well.

I hadn't had a proper chance to think today. Everything happened so fast.

All I could think about was Yuigahama's confession.

Yuigahama clearly didn't understand who I was. No, she became infatuated with the mask of me she created in her mind when I saved Sable. I was just someone wearing that mask.

The thing about people behind masks… you don't know their intentions. You don't know what they want or who they are or anything important. You only see the superficial mask covering their face.

Falling in love with such a thing was surely a form of deception.

Pretending that the thing in front of you conforms to this pretty image you have in your head wasn't seeking to understand the truth. And worse, once you accept the mask, it becomes harder and harder to remove it from that person's face. You want to leave that mask on, hiding any forms of ugliness behind it.

Yuigahama Yui was a nice girl.

Surely that was a mask I placed upon her. I never digged deeper. I never felt a need to address the ugly truths behind Yuigahama's mask. The lies she and I believed in were all allowed to exist because of the masks we placed on each other.

No, despite my words and thoughts, I didn't seek to understand. I didn't want something genuine. How could I say that I did considering my actions? I never did anything in search of it. I only said that phrase on a whim.

I'd been deceiving myself the entire time.

What about Yukinoshita?

I placed a mask on her during our first few conversations. And even if I doubted my own conclusions about her at times, I didn't seek to understand her. Any understanding I had was obtained through observation and was undoubtedly at the surface level.

Pretending I knew her, what utter nonsense. I knew nothing about her. I didn't know what made her think the way she did or how she made decisions.

We weren't even friends. She said so herself.

Therefore, what right did I have to confess?

I didn't have a right. That's why I didn't confess. A confession would lead to a rejection, and I don't know what that'd do to me. Orimoto and I weren't even close, and I still remembered how much it hurt. I spent two years with Yukinoshita. I might've — no, would've broken if I was rejected.

So this was fine. It was fine that I didn't confess. In fact, it was for the best.

After all, when it comes to both Hayama's group and the Service Club… these relationships will fade. That was the natural course for all relationships.

So what was the point of trying to keep… whatever this was with Yukinoshita then? What was the point of trying to force her to further our relationship?

There was no point. That much was logical. We all end up alone anyway. Like rocks that the ocean waves continually beat upon, eroding away little by little, the memories and relationships we form together will fade and be forgotten.

It was fine to be alone. I knew very well what being alone was like, anyway. That was probably my natural state of being. Society forces expectations about having family and friends and lovers, but society was always wrong. It was society's fault that we put so much into these relationships that are ultimately meaningless.

It was fine to be alone.

As I lied face down on the couch, I pounded that sentence into my head until I drifted off into sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Happy Holidays~**

 **Sorry to ruin the holiday spirit though...**

 **If you've made it this far, thank you very much. I hope you still want to read the conclusion after all of this.**

 **There were a lot of beta readers this time because I asked pretty much everyone awake in the server to read it after the original reaction a certain someone (teehee) had.**

 **So, thanks to Zingy, Galm, Kat, Jin, Yuuka, and OfCourse… And thanks for dealing with my stuff orz**

 **Review time~**

 **NPwall: Thanks bud (:**

 **Kogawa Leaf: Staying as true as I could was my goal (minus what I've ignored :3c ). I hope this chapter continues that trend. Thanks~**

 **Link8: Let's see if I can keep up the quality… You're way too good to me, friend. I'd like to hear your thoughts after this chapter, too~**

 **I really can't thank everyone enough, hehe. It's wonderful hearing encouragement.**

 **But if you despise me/my writing, I'd also love to hear it, too. Especially after this chapter. You know who you are ;)**

 **The conclusion should be coming soon~**

 **See you then, friends.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A Mutual Misunderstanding**

How many hours had it been, I wondered as I groggily pushed myself off of the couch. The room was filled with the dull light of the early morning. I didn't want to wake up, but it seemed like even my body was telling me that I needed to get ready for school.

I sat up then sank back into the couch. My thoughts wandered as I looked out of the window where the light came from.

Yukinoshita, by the end of today, would be out of my life. Undoubtedly, after the events of yesterday, Yuigahama would also. The Service Club was both disbanded officially and in spirit.

It's fine, I reminded myself.

My eyes felt fatigued, and I could feel dried tears lingering on my skin. I stood up from the couch with plans to wash my face and head to school.

"Onii-chan, you're finally up." I saw Komachi standing by the counter, making morning coffee. I wiped my eyes on reflex. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said. She frowned at me. "I just need some sleep, that's all."

"You've been sleeping for forever. Tell me, or I'm gonna get mad." She pointed back to the couch where I had spent my entire night forcing myself to sleep. I didn't want to argue. I sat down but looked back at her as she fumbled around with coffee mugs.

When the coffee finished brewing, she sat down next to me and handed me a mug. I blew on the hot coffee and took a sip.

"So?" She looked at me with a furrowed brow and downturned lips.

I didn't think she needed to know what was going on. This was my problem to deal with, and I had already found my answer. Even if she didn't like that solution, it was too late to change anything. No, there was no need to bother Komachi with what I went through.

And yet, I was reminded of when I told her about what happened during the class field trip, and how she helped give me an answer. Sure her answer turned out to be an excuse to hide my own, but it still helped.

There was nothing I could do. But would telling Komachi hurt? She was willing to listen. She was there for me then, and was here for me now.

And thus, I spoke.

"Yukinoshita is leaving today."

I prefaced my recollection with that, and Komachi paid attention the whole way through. I didn't leave out my plans to confess or Yuigahama's confession. She reacted with excitement to each of those parts, but that quickly faded when I told her the aftermath.

"So, in the end I did nothing. Maybe there was nothing that could've been done in the first place," I said. She scratched her chin while she stared at a single point on the floor. To break the silence, I asked her a question. "Did I overthink things?"

"Onii-chan, thinking is the only thing you're good for. Honestly, that's like your one good point." I didn't know how to respond to that. "So, you need to think some more."

"What do you mean?"

"All Komachi wants is for Onii-chan to be happy. Are you happy with this?"

"No, but…" I trailed off, and Komachi sighed.

"You're seriously frustrating. If you're not happy then do something about it!"

"What could I do now?"

"You need to think more. Like, instead of saying 'there's nothing I can do,' think about it. I don't have an answer for you. Find it yourself." After saying her coarse words, Komachi leaned on me. Her weight was comforting.

"And if you try and fail then Komachi will be here to listen to you. Komachi will always be here to listen to you complain or celebrate or anything. You can even cry on my shoulder if you want. Kyaa, that was super high in Komachi points." Hearing her familiar mantra, I let out a chuckle. She lightly pushed me away, even though she initiated the contact, and went back to sipping her coffee. I drank mine as well.

"Thanks, Komachi," I said after we both finished.

"Any time, Onii-chan." I grabbed our mugs and brought them over to the sink to wash them. When I went to place them in the cupboard, I saw something.

The Pan-san teacup given to me by the Service Club sat amongst the rest of the cups. Maybe Komachi washed it and put it away for me when I brought it home.

The character Yukinoshita was obsessed with stared at me with it's lifeless eyes.

Surely, I could try.

I rushed to the bathroom and washed my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and straightened my uniform. When I came back into the living room, Komachi tilted her head at me.

"I'm gonna go." She smiled at my words, then handed my bag to me.

"Good luck," she said. I nodded and dashed out the door. I started making my way to the station.

With any luck, Yukinoshita wouldn't be on a plane right now. I checked my phone. The time was seven. After I got to Sobu Station, the train ride would take about an hour and a half.

Who would know when Yukinoshita's flight was? Realizing a possibility, I opened up my contacts and made a call.

"Please pick up," I said to my phone, as if she could hear me through it.

"Hikigaya?"

"Hiratsuka-sensei, did Yukinoshita report to you when her flight was?" I asked.

"She said it was ten o'clock out of Narita. I'll text you the airline details."

"Alright, thanks. It looks like I'm going to be late to class." She chuckled.

"So you've found your answer then?" That wasn't the case. I was going to talk to Yukinoshita, but what I was going to tell her was still unclear. It was more like I found my resolve.

"Something like that," I answered. Then, remembering Hiratsuka-sensei's words from before, I asked a question. "The things I could only do now, the things I could still do before Yukinoshita leaves… what did you mean by that, exactly?" She sighed in response.

"The answers we have to different situations won't be the same. That hint was more to get you thinking about what you could do, rather than what you should do. And after all that thinking you've found your answer. You don't need mine." Hearing that, I was satisfied.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Hikigaya. If you ever need someone to complain to, I'll be around." I thanked her again, we exchanged goodbyes, and I ended the call. Soon after, a message with Yukinoshita's flight details came.

Komachi, my closest stranger, and Hiratsuka-sensei, who had been guiding me all along, had finalized my decision, despite telling me they didn't have answers to give me.

Komachi told me to think more. Hiratsuka-sensei said we all had different answers for our own situations. And they were both there for me when I wanted to talk.

All I was good for was thinking. Komachi was probably right about that. I spent all my time thinking and rationalizing. Even now, as I raced against the clock, my brain was running on all cylinders.

But there were people who would listen to me. There were people who I could share those thoughts with.

Was Yukinoshita included?

I didn't know, to be honest. Yukinoshita seemed perfectly fine with leaving forever. I still didn't know what she was thinking.

But I shouldn't have been using others' answers for my own problems. I needed to think more, and three things were on my mind.

How I felt about Yukinoshita.

What I wanted from our relationship.

How to put those things into words.

And there was another problem: I was running out of time.

I arrived at Sobu Station at around seven-thirty. By my estimates, barring any bad luck with switching lines, I should be able to get to the airport by nine. As long as Yukinoshita wasn't early, I could talk to her before she went to her gate.

It was a shot in the dark, but I had to take it.

I heard a quiet voice as I waited for the train to come.

"Hikki…" I turned and found Yuigahama staring at me. I froze for a moment.

What about Yuigahama? We spent two years together as well. If I said I was going to talk with Yukinoshita, then didn't it make sense that I would also talk to Yuigahama?

I was sure she was still hurt from the day prior, but I approached her anyway. She backed up slightly, but we met face to face.

"We should talk," I said. She looked downwards.

"I… don't know if I want to hear it."

"Even still, we should. We need to." I took a breath. "I'm going to talk with Yukinoshita right now. After school, maybe we can talk about us." She looked back up at me.

"Are you going to confess to her?" she asked.

Was that still my answer, I wondered. I didn't know. I needed to think more. But that was for the future. Right now I needed to say something to Yuigahama.

"I don't know. I'm not sure how I feel. But still… we never said anything about us before yesterday." She took in a sharp breath, and I watched her clench her fists. "But we should."

"... Okay," she said. Hearing that was all I needed to move forward.

The train came, and we both boarded. She got off at the stop for Sobu High. I stayed on the Sobu Line. Then I switched over to the Keisei Line, and eventually, the Narita Line.

During the ride, I thought about the others I had talked to the past couple of days.

Tobe believed that we were close, and that a confession between two people who were close would be a success. However Ebina, the girl he wanted to confess to, only displayed her mask to others. Tobe fell in love with that, and Ebina would surely reject him if he confessed.

Miura loved the Hayama that would live up to everyone's expectations. She was willing to risk their entire relationship with a confession, but gave up when she heard Hayama was moving away. Maybe she realized the risk was greater than the reward.

Yuigahama… I had already sorted out my thoughts about her. But we would talk about us, and, if we discussed everything at length, then those masks we placed on each other might crumble away and reveal our true selves.

Thinking of all these situations, I arrived at my answer. I knew what I was going to say to Yukinoshita.

* * *

I arrived at the airport just before nine. The airport was packed with both Japanese and foreign people.

Knowing Yukinoshita, she'd probably come around this time, if not earlier, to avoid any holdups.

I looked around. Surely, she was here. She had to be.

I headed to the check-in area for international flights. I looked at Sensei's message again, glanced around to find that airline, and went in that direction. I stood at the check-in area for her flight, trying to find her amongst a sea of people. I looked back towards the entrance, but she was nowhere to be found.

She couldn't have already headed to her gate, could she? If she did, then it was over. These words would remain unspoken. All this thinking would have been for nothing.

Maybe there was another option, but at that moment, I couldn't see anything but complete separation in our future.

Then, as I started to head back to the entrance, I saw her.

Her slender figure, with her long black hair and skin white as marble, stood out in the crowd. Actually, it was more like I could recognize her anywhere, in any crowd of people. I could even imagine the small, red ribbons tied on strands of her hair.

She was walking towards the check-in area. She looked around at the signs, as if making sure she was going the right way. For once, I was glad Yukinoshita was bad with directions.

I made my way towards her. She stopped walking when she saw me approach.

"Yukinoshita," I said.

"Hikigaya-kun, why are you here?" she asked as she turned to me.

"I want to talk to you." She tightened her grip on her suitcase and began to walk past me.

"... I have a flight to catch." I took a breath before uttering my next words.

"I was going to confess to you yesterday." She stopped walking and turned towards me. I walked forward.

"Hikigaya-kun… I—"

"Please, let me finish," I requested. She nodded. We looked at each other.

I took a deep breath.

"I don't understand you. I thought I did—no, I pretended I did. I forced my expectations upon you. And you defied them. But I still pretended like I understood you. Even until now, I've been pretending.

"Confessing with that on my conscience? There was no way I could do that. And I doubt you would have accepted under those circumstances." She clutched her arm, but didn't look away.

"Therefore, I won't confess any 'love' for you," I said. I breathed in and out. Her lips were turned slightly downwards.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"No," I said, remembering all the things I had thought of saying to her.

"I want to understand you." Her eyes widened. "I want to know more about you. I don't want these past two years to mean nothing for us. So…" I gulped down my saliva and my fears.

"So could we keep in touch?"

There it was. My feelings and desires out in the open. Not hiding behind twisted logic or self deception or vague, meaningless words.

All that was left to this confession was a response.

"Do you have any paper?"

"What?"

"I know your eyes are bad, but are your ears as well?" She grinned at me. "I need something to write on, Hikigaya-kun. Maybe I can pull out a marker and write on your forehead?"

For a second I didn't know what to think. Then, after realizing that this was Yukinoshita's answer, I grinned back.

"Oh? What about my so-called Hikigerms? Aren't you afraid of getting infected?"

"I have hand sanitizer in my luggage, and the marker will be promptly disposed of." She glanced at her phone. "Hurry up, please."

I quickly reached for a notebook in my bag and handed it to her. She pulled out a pen and began scribbling in it. Eventually she handed it back to me and walked to my side. She pointed at things in the notebook as she spoke.

"Here's my mail address. And this is my schedule in Japan time. I'm free from here until then. I assume you're usually awake at that time."

"Yeah."

"Then I'll be expecting calls around then. Video chats would be best. At least once a week sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Also, I'll be in Japan during holidays and school breaks."

"So…"

"I accept, Hikigaya-kun." She smiled at me, and I was reminded of exactly how beautiful Yukinoshita Yukino was. Then she flicked her hair back, and the smile turned into a sneer. "Of course, if you don't call, then I'll assume you weren't serious."

"I am."

"Good." We stood still as people passed by us, some even giving us glances as we spoke. I looked at the notebook and typed her address into my phone. Then I sent a message.

"Have a safe flight," it read. Her phone buzzed in her hand. She started typing as well.

"Thank you." I looked away from my phone and back at her.

"So um… should we, uh, shake hands?" I asked. Yukinoshita started to giggle while covering her mouth. "W-what? It's not like you know how these things work either."

"I don't, but shaking hands is…" She continued to laugh, her body shaking. When she finished, she sighed before speaking again. "Sure," she said as she let go of her suitcase and extended her hand towards me.

I followed suit, and the two of us pressed our hands together. She had a strong grip. Come to think of it, this was probably the first time we had any sort of voluntary skin contact.

She eventually let go, but her warmth remained present on my hand. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase once more.

"I should go now," she said.

"Yeah. Do you know the way?"

"It's just over there, right?" I nodded. "Goodbye then, Hikigaya-kun."

"Goodbye, Yukinoshita."

As she started to walk away, I was reminded of Totsuka's words about friendship. Keeping in touch… spending time together when possible…

This agreement with Yukinoshita was _that_ , right?

I rushed forward and grasped at her sleeve. She looked back at me with her eyebrows raised and eyes widened. I decided to ask that question once more.

"Yukinoshita, could we be friends?" It was the first time she let me finish. She seemed to be pondering her answer, with her hand at her chin.

"That's impossible," she said. "You said yourself that you don't understand me, right?"

"Yeah… I suppose that's true."

"But… here's a consolation prize."

Yukinoshita grabbed my sleeve as well and leaned closer. The scent of jasmine shampoo filled the air around us. She tilted her chin and spoke in a small whisper, and I could feel hot air brushing against my ear.

"I don't understand you, either."

Those words that sounded like an affirmation as well as a promise lingered between us.

We didn't say anything else. She eventually separated from me and began walking away. She turned around and waved. I waved back. Then Yukinoshita walked into a sea of people, and I watched until I could no longer see her figure.

I headed to a vending machine and pulled out a couple of coins. The prices were more expensive than normal, but I was okay with that. I inserted the coins and pressed a button for MAXX Coffee.

I headed up to the observation deck. I sat down on a bench, pulled out a light novel, and sipped on my drink, occasionally checking my phone for the time.

When the clock struck ten, I put my book away and stared towards the airplanes. A plane was slowly getting ready for takeoff. Within a few minutes, it was on the runway and speeding away from me. It lifted off into the sky. I watched it as it shrank and shrank before disappearing into the blue.

On my way back to the station, I felt a spring breeze blow past me.

It would be summer before we knew it. If I remembered correctly, American schools had long summer breaks. If her break coincided with mine, maybe she'd drag me out of the house and away from my books and video games.

Then fall would come. School would be picking up again, and we might not have much time to chat. I wondered about meeting her minimum requirement and if she'd actually give up on me if I didn't.

Winter would be upon us after. Along with it would come the holidays that I'd usually spend alone if not for Komachi. Yukinoshita might be busy with family matters around that time. But… just maybe... we could spend them together. Not just us, but with everyone… maybe even Yuigahama.

And finally, spring would come again. What would change by then? Would we come to understand each other? Would we drift apart by then?

Maybe it didn't make sense to guess at the future like this. But even so, with the wind at my back, I clutched the notebook that sat in my bag, thinking about what was to come for the two of us.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading this fic. I hope you enjoyed it to its conclusion. Finally finished~~~**

 **Well, not really.**

 **There will be an epilogue, so look forward to it! It might be a while because school and work and video games and… I'm a busy cheese.**

 **This chapter took sooooo long (because of my ineptitude), and there are many, many versions sitting where they belong in my (virtual) trash can. If they were physical manuscripts, I'd watch them burn in my fireplace and warm my hands over their embers.**

 **I would like to thank my beta readers. Seriously, thank you for slogging through thousands of words with me. I could not have done this without you and your criticism. Big thanks to Zingy, Kat, Admiral, and Jin. We made it, boys c:**

 **Also, many thanks to everyone who stuck with this fic. I hope I was able to live up to your expectations.**

 **Reviews:**

 **ChangingOfTheSeasons: You beta read my fic… but neglected to bring any of this up?! You silly goose~ I will be writing a larger response to this under the next cut.**

 **Calvados: Hehe, what love letter? Idiot Hachiman didn't plan ahead~**

 **MisakaLover: I was aiming for that c: Thanks for reading!**

 **Link8: Thanks for reviewing each time buddy. Good luck with your work~**

 **Ralph: Thanks for coming to my defense (jk). Nice to see you in my reviews again, friend.**

 **HarimaHige: It was supposed to just happen quickly with minimal thinking to give a feeling of 8man being overwhelmed by everything. Of course, if I failed to capture the emotions, then this is my fault as a writer. As for Yukino POV, I wanted to keep the story all 8man POV.**

 **BlackPsych: Heh, that's exactly what I was aiming for. Glad to know that feeling was translated through my words. Also, for the record, I'm perfectly fine with a loner ending as long as 8man undergoes big change~**

 **Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate that all of you would take the time to type these~**

 **Anyway, the epilogue will be rather short, as this story is technically "complete". However, there is a scene that I envisioned when I originally came up with the idea for this fic, and I'd like to share it with you all. HachiYuki incoming, so if you're not a fan of that, then skip it. The author notes will also be minimal in that one. Probably just review responses.**

 **For future story plans, I do have one idea floating around. We'll see whether or not I can come up with a cohesive plot for it. Let's just say it involves everyone's favorite Onee-chan~**

 **Well, this was probably way too long for an afterword. I'll see you all when the epilogue comes out.**

 **On a certain day in January, while typing an outro that has been done way too many times…**

* * *

 **Alrighty ChangingOfTheSeasons, here we go.**

" _Does his attraction to Yukinoshita need to be explained or is it just taken for granted by the reader?"_

 **Well, 8man did say he was "fascinated" by Yukinoshita. There are other hints/subtext in the LN, but that could just be me reading too much into things. For this fic, however, I decided that he wouldn't be sure of this "attraction," thus making his "answer" unclear.**

" _It's just that for both Yui and Yukino - he notes these "masks" of expectation, of his judgements on their character. But when he rejects Yui, he uses words such as "deception" and "lies" to justify him rejecting her, yet with Yukino, he only seems to fear rejection and accepting being "alone" with all of his prattle about society, despite them both wearing similar "masks," as he calls them."_

 **I tried to make it seem like 8man was rationalizing his decision to not confess to Yukino. Since Yui fell in love with her image of him, and he thought that was "deception", then surely his confession to Yukino would also be "deception". Thus, I spent less time talking about masks with Yukino. Of course, if my intentions were not clear, then that is my failure as a writer.**

 **Thanks for bringing this up... but could you say it earlier next time?! Just kidding, love. I appreciate your input as always~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Since that Day hadn't Arrived**

It's impossible to understand someone fully. You can't get into someone's mind even if you spend your entire life with them. You can only hope to understand them better.

And there's no guarantee that you will. People are constantly changing their opinions, reactions, and feelings. To pretend you're able to keep up with all of that is narcissistic.

I should have known that from the very beginning. We could never reach the complete understanding that I was thinking of back then.

Yukino sighed across the table, and I snapped out of my musings.

"What is it this time?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I scratched my head, pushing away my thoughts.

"I know that rotten look in your eyes." She crossed her arms.

"Yes, my eyes are rotten. You really need to up your insult game." I put down my chopsticks and gave her my full attention.

Bring it, Yukino.

"No, they were more dead than usual. I'm imagining a fish that's been dead for weeks." Her lips turned upwards. "You get that look right before you spout nonsense."

"I didn't know you paid so much attention to my facial expressions."

"It's hard not to notice that idiotic look on your face."

"It's hard not to pay attention? I see, I see."

"Maybe you should invest in some face masks. In fact, a face mask could prevent the spread of both your germs and that terrible grimace you call a smile."

I opened my mouth to retort, but Yukino interrupted me by reaching across the table. Her fingers slowly moved along the back of my hand. We looked at each other.

"What were you thinking of?" she asked.

"... How I'll never understand you," I answered.

"Is that so?" She retracted her hand and took a bite of the breakfast she made for us. I watched her eyes as they remained seemingly fixated on the food. I gulped. "Is there anything else you have to tell me?"

"What?"

"Oh? I thought you were going to share the other unfaithful thoughts you had." I watched her lips curve into a smirk before flattening out again.

"Maybe I should ask you," I said. "How's Hayama doing?"

"Surely you know he's four thousand kilometers away from my school."

"That's closer than I am."

"He's closer when it comes to distance."

"What's your definition of distance, then?"

"Physical distance. Or are you going to find some way to twist that, too?" She sighed and brought her hand to her forehead in a gesture that I hadn't seen in a few months. "In any case, couldn't I say the same about you and Yui?"

"We're just friends."

"Is that so? I remember something about a confession."

"Then you should also remember a rejection."

"What I remember is that the two of you still talk."

"Exactly. All we do is talk. That's it."

"Do you talk with her more than with me?"

"Not even close."

"Well, I haven't talked to Hayama-kun in years." She had me there. But I wasn't going to call it quits just yet.

"Face it. While you're having fun in America, I'm stuck in Chiba waiting for you to come back."

"If you're that worried, then how about moving in together once I'm done?" Her words came out in a nonchalant manner, and she started eating again without skipping a beat.

No, I'd never understand Yukino. Not even after hearing about her family and past and desires. Not even after being with her as she tackled all of her problems.

Yukinoshita Yukino would always defy my expectations and shatter my image of her.

And it's likely she'd never understand me. Even after telling her about my history, including my experiences with Orimoto and what happened with Yuigahama.

We were stuck in this cycle of trying and failing to understand.

But… thinking about the words we spoke back then… was that really-

"Hey, Hachi," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "Is not understanding me really such a bad thing?"

I laughed as she looked at me with raised eyebrows. After composing myself, I stood up from my chair and walked over to her. She got out of her seat as well.

"No, it isn't. I'll take you up on that offer," I said before wrapping my arms around her.

"I'll probably have to pay for the apartment, huh?" She leaned into the embrace.

"Hey, I have a few job offers lined up."

"Oh? What happened to being a full-time househusband?"

"It's a bit too early for a proposal, don't you think, Yuki?" Her cheeks flushed, and she pulled me closer. Our bodies pressed together. The familiar smell of her jasmine shampoo reached my nose.

"You're the worst," she whispered.

"I know." I separated from her, but still held her in my arms. Yukino's blue eyes seemed to shimmer in the light of the morning.

There was a certain phrase that came to mind during moments like these, but somehow, despite it being all too common with other couples, that phrase didn't feel accurate for us. It felt as if I hadn't earned the right to say it, even after the past few years we spent learning about each other.

It's pretty to think that one day those words will suffice.

Since that day hadn't arrived, we said our own words to each other before pressing our lips together.

"I don't understand you."

"I don't understand you, either."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the long wait… I've been super duper busy (and procrastinated my butt off).**

 **Anyway, here's the scene I imagined before writing the fic. It provided the basic premise for what I wanted.**

 **Of course, even this scene has gone through variations while writing this fic, but the ending has remained the same.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it.**

 **Since this was so short, I decided not to have anyone beta read it. If I made mistakes, or this wasn't good enough, or left any unanswered questions, I am not going to change anything. The same goes for the rest of the story. I'd rather move to the next.**

 **I will hopefully write a new one soon.**

 **Reviews:**

 **Clipsus: Hope this satisfies! Thanks for the kind words, fren**

 **NPWall: I also had a typical cliché ending planned, at least at first. I realized while writing Ch. 2 that neither Hachiman or Yukino were ready for that ending. I'm glad you liked it.**

 **Also I realized I didn't respond to your review of Ch. 3 (you were a guest review?). I hope that's not the reason why you're breaking away from your typical reviews… In any case, thanks for sticking with me and reviewing the whole time~**

 **Calvados: Hachiman is undoubtedly an idiot (:**

 **ChangingOfTheSeasons: Since we already had a discussion on discord, I will not be answering anything here. If you want me to write a full response to all of your points, ping me, love.**

 **KievVrael245: That's what I was going for~ Glad you liked it!**

 **pomegranate downer: A… big… cutie… S-stop, you're embarrassing me! /**

 **RalphZiggy: He also has a Yukino figure and a Yukino laptop case… Wait, that's me. You're welcome!**

 **Lordlexx: I like your enthusiasm, but HachiYuki for life :3**

 **BlackPsych: I'm glad you liked it, buddy. I'm honestly hoping for an ending that's at least this. I don't know if Yukino and Hachiman are ready for a relationship in canon… but I also haven't read volumes 12 and 13. Maybe they are, and I have no clue.**

 **As for Yui, I agree. This fic in particular doesn't really focus on Yui, but I tried to imply that everything is okay between the three of them in this epilogue. I imagine them being friends post-canon.**

 **Thanks for sticking with me through the entire fic and reviewing. I really appreciate it.**

 **Link8: I'm glad a lot of people can see this ending as the end of the LN! Thanks for reviewing each chapter. I hope this short epilogue meets your expectations.**

 **That's all, everybody. See you in my next fic~**

 **Or in the discord fanfiction channel, as always.**


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